Two years ago, I felt like I had stumbled into a nightmare within The New Evangelicals community group. My friend told me about the situation and began sharing information that various people had kept hidden, which led to other details that had been printed and preserved for many years. These receipts involved someone named Tony Jones, and an incident from around 2009 was later amplified when many acted incorrectly in 2015 after Tony’s issues resurfaced.
We discussed it in The Desert Sanctuary.
The conversation began in The New Evangelicals (TNE) community group, which had been promoting Theology Beer Camp 2023 (Theo Bros), featuring several well-known progressive theologians. Megan Benninger and other women primarily urged some of the theologians who frequented that group to speak out against Tony Jones being platformed at the upcoming beer camp. Tim Whittaker of TNE was heavily promoting the beer camp, and some of the Theo Bros were part of the group. When several people called out these theologians and Tim, most either remained silent, requested private conversations, or provided brief responses.
Other group members and moderators argued with me, and Tim called and messaged me several times during those days. Another speaker, like Tim, seemed to have done about five minutes of research, which included talking to Tony. However, they appeared to collectively disregard what the women in the TNE group were calling for in terms of acknowledgment of the issue. Tim shared his video in the TNE Community group, followed by other followers doing the same. His board made him take it down, but most of the damage had already been done.
After that, everyone was somewhat exhausted, but we recorded a few podcasts and had some discussions to help process what we had experienced. The tendency remains the same as in evangelicalism: to protect the leader and the organization before the individual.
On one hand, I was glad that TNE commissioned the Grace group to produce a 90-page evaluation of a situation I hadn’t heard about in late 2024. One TNE employee filed a complaint against Tim and the group. I was excited to see this thorough report because it represents an important step. However, I was also disappointed that Tim seemed to be responding to the discovery process with the same attitude he displayed in 2023 during the Tony Jones incident, the narcissistic sidestep. Most of you probably know what that’s like!
So, how do we get out of these situations we keep getting ourselves into?
First of all, we must recognize that we have inherited some DNA from our evangelical roots. Our default responses emerge when we are stressed or triggered and revert to harmful and toxic practices we once knew. We see this in Tim’s actions when someone is late and in the behavior of religious leaders and theologians who act in ways they typically wouldn’t. For a narcissist, being on stage becomes their top priority, but in reality, that is the last place they should be. One reason is that religious organizations often encourage people to start new initiatives and grow their communities, and social media has dramatically amplified this trend. However, large groups, especially those that expand too rapidly, often lack the necessary mechanisms, which can lead to harmful behavior. As a result, those who are hurt may feel abandoned within the group, creating a situation similar to our experiences in highly controlled churches.
301 – Brad Sargent & Becky Garrison – Narciccism and Religious Trauma
314 – Unmasking Patriarchy: Diagnosing Narcissism & Abuse With David Hayward
318 – Pete Singer – The Heart of God for Children and the Vulnerable
319 – Empowering Survivors of Religious Trauma & Holding Churches Accountable – Boz Tchividjian
Before embarking on a new venture, whether it be building a coffee shop in the new church, creating a website, or holding a conference, we should all invest in some self-help work and serious trauma-informed counseling. Not the “Biblical” Counseling that often bullies individuals into complying with the organization. We need genuine accountability, follow-through, and a greater focus on healing before we aim to grow. I emphasize this because I did it, and I regret it.
The final point I want to highlight is the title of this blog. When a group transitions from an organic community to an organization, the organization and its leader invariably take precedence. We understand that no one is irreplaceable, but we tend to shy away from challenges. Confronting a power imbalance to remove someone from leadership is an incredibly difficult struggle. In an organization, individuals often come last and need allies to support them in voicing their concerns and to show kindness when they risk everything to reveal dysfunction. We must remain transparent, hold ourselves accountable, and listen to survivors. We will not overcome this hurdle until we learn from those who have experienced abuse, do the hard work of healing from our trauma, and create spaces where individuals can find community and love without the pressure from the organization to “get on the bus.”
I have listened to hundreds of stories from experts and survivors on my podcast, and I feel that I am finally grasping the issue. You may not like it—it’s challenging work—you might have to postpone starting something “new” to be present for someone else.
Be where you are, Be who you are, Be at peace!
Karl Forehand
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Karl Forehand is a former pastor, podcaster, and award-winning author. His books include Out into the Desert, Leaning Forward, Apparent Faith: What Fatherhood Taught Me About the Father’s Heart, The Tea Shop and Being: A Journey Toward Presence and Authenticity. He is the creator of The Desert Sanctuary podcast and community. He is married to his wife Laura of 35 years and has one dog named Winston. His three children are grown and are beginning to multiply! You can read more about the author here.
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