“Conclave”

“Anora” just won Best Picture at the Oscars, as well as a whole bunch of other awards. As you may or may not recall, I didn’t think it was that great. Or maybe I missed something. Because I thought it was kinda blah, kinda tiresome.

There were some other Best Picture nominees that I did like, such as “Dune: Part Two.” I heard “The Brutalist” was also good, but I haven’t managed to devote a whole day to that marathon of a movie.

Another Best Picture nominee that I liked is “Conclave.” It’s that Catholic one. You know, about the Cardinals and such.

You might be thinking, “Ugh, I don’t know if I can watch another movie about child sexual abuse right now.” But it’s not about that! I swear. I was relieved, too. It turns out sex scandals aren’t the only film-worthy dramas in the Church.

This one is about choosing another pope. “Conclave” starts with the pope dying. That puts all sorts of wheels in motion. The body has to be handled just so. The records need to be kept this way. Arrangements need to be made that way.

And the College of Cardinals needs to be summoned. These are the higher-ups in the Catholic Church, and it’s their responsibility to meet in the Vatican to pick a new pope.

The man running the show is Cardinal Lawrence (Ralph Fiennes), dean of the College of Cardinals. He would have preferred a different life, but the previous pope hand selected him for this position. So, he’s got to herd the black cats with the red sashes.

It’s not easy! If you were imagining a bunch of pious men of God filing in to solemnly and conscientiously meditate on who the Lord wishes to be the next leader of His Church… yeah right. They know what’s up. They know who is jonesing for the title. They know who stands for what. They know the politics.

And politics it is. There are four leading candidates: One progressive, one moderate and two conservatives. Cardinal Bellini (Stanley Tucci) is the progressive, Cardinal Tremblay (John Lithgow) is the moderate and Cardinals Adeyemi (Lucian Msamati) and Tedesco (Sergio Castellitto) are the conservatives. It’s a bit like American politics where everyone comes in close-minded, with the conviction that their guy has to win — or, more importantly, that the other guy has to lose.

The game is already afoot when a bit of a curveball gets thrown their way. A new guy, Archbishop Benitez of Kabul (Carlos Diehz), shows up, because the previous pope had made him a Cardinal in secret. They are surprised, but the documentation is there. So they allow the quiet, reverent — and maybe also weary, from his assignments in war-torn areas — Cardinal Benitez into the mix.

What a mix it is. Not only is there politicking, there’s scandalizing, too (I guess these things do go hand-in-hand). All the safely kept — or ignored — skeletons come leaping out of closets. One Cardinal is whispered to have been dismissed by the previous pope right before he died. Another turns out to have a child out of wedlock. Other guys lose their cool, or say awful things, and that causes them to go down in the polls.

The new pope needs a two-thirds majority vote from the College of Cardinals. As expected, the first vote does not produce a winner. Nor do the second or third. The votes seesaw as scandals emerge and controversies swirl.

“Conclave” is so much fun. For one thing, it’s so interesting to get a look behind the scenes at such a carefully observed ancient ritual. The rules and regulations, policies and procedures, the ceremonies, the complicated social structures — it’s both a fascinating time machine to the past and a perfect setting for a fantastic drama.

Which is what “Conclave” is. It resists the urge to preach politics, to make the whole thing some 21^st-century creed or social statement, to reduce every little in and out of history to some point that some writer or director feels fit to make. There is some of that in “Conclave,” but it’s subtle enough (and pretty good).

This leaves space for the movie to be a good, old-fashioned drama of intrigue, manipulation, control and maneuvering. It is beautifully conceived, beautifully shot and — as you probably guessed from the list of actors above — beautifully acted. Despite all the complicatedness of the movie, there’s something simple and appealing about it.

OK, fine, go watch “Anora.” See what all the fuss is about. Then see “Conclave.”

“Conclave” is rated PG for thematic material and smoking.